If you have been affected by a traumatic experience, it can be difficult to come to terms with it. Recent global events have left many feeling vulnerable and uncertain, and they may have affected you personally, leaving you feeling the same way. You may wonder if anywhere is now safe or be frightened that it could happen again.
What is trauma?
Trauma is the aftermath of experiencing incredibly stressful, frightening or distressing events that are difficult to cope with or out of our control. It can stem from a single incident or extend over a prolonged period. Trauma impacts everyone differently and your personal experience is unique to you.
However, how trauma affects you doesn't define your character. Your reaction can depend on various different factors such as any previous traumatic experiences, other stressful things happening in your life at the same time, and the support you receive afterwards.
What experiences might be traumatic?
Trauma can arise from various situations, including:
One-off events such as an accident, violent attack or natural disaster
Ongoing stress such as childhood or intimate partner abuse, bullying, long-term illness or a pandemic such as COVID-19
Living in an unstable or unsafe environment
Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse
Seeing someone else get seriously hurt
Poverty
Racism, discrimination, and oppression
Violence in the community, war, or terrorism
What you might experience after a trauma
People experience trauma in different ways, and there is no ‘right’ response, and so after a traumatic event you may experience:
Intense emotions such as fear, shock, horror, confusion, anger, sadness and/or numbness. All of these are normal responses.
Repeated distressing thoughts of the trauma, such as seeing pictures of it in your mind or feeling as if it is happening again in the present
Struggles with your sleep e.g.,not being able to sleep, interrupted sleep or nightmares
You may want to avoid people, places and activities that you didn’t avoid before
You may re-experience smells, sounds or physical sensations that you had at the time, as if they were happening in the present
You may feel jumpy, easily startled and always on the lookout for danger
These reactions are all completely normal and can improve over time, especially if you have support from your loved ones or close friends.
Taking care of yourself
You can support yourself after a traumatic experience in several ways.
In the immediate aftermath:
Keep yourself safe. If you are feeling threatened, unsafe or afraid, try to go to a safe space. This could be a trusted friend or family member's house, a refuge, a hospital, or just somewhere away from the trauma.
Get medical help if you need it. If you are hurt, it’s really important to seek medical assistance. If it’s urgent, call emergency services in your area or visit your local emergency department. For anything less urgent, you can make an appointment with your doctor.
Afterwards:
Spend time with loved ones or people you trust. Talk to them about how you are feeling, if you think that will help you, but everyone is different, and it may not be right for you.
Try to limit time spent online/following the news, or on posts by people speculating or sharing conspiracy theories (disinformation) if it’s making you feel worse.
Remember that there is no ‘right’ way to feel after a traumatic experience. Try to accept the emotions you are feeling e.g. allow yourself to cry if it helps you.
Some people find it helpful to ask for emotional and/or practical support from loved ones or their local community/religious centres, especially if you are part of a marginalised community. Experiences of racism or discrimination can amplify trauma, and connecting with those who understand your specific context can be particularly healing.
Stick to your usual routines if that is helpful. Some people find routines comforting when they feel overwhelmed, as they help them to feel life goes on.
Keep looking after yourself physically: try to exercise and eat well.
Try to spend some time doing the things that help you to feel good or that you usually enjoy.
Really try to be kind to yourself. Give yourself time. Don't rush yourself to feel better right away. Coping with trauma is a process that can be complex and unpredictable.
Remember, we are not our traumas, they do not get to define us, who we are, or who we become. With time and support, we can start to piece ourselves back together and find our way to healing.
Should I seek more help for how I am feeling?
If you are struggling to cope after a trauma, know that you are not alone. If you have been struggling for a while or if things are getting worse, it’s crucial to reach out for professional support. Remember, healing takes time and reaching out is a courageous step towards recovery, no matter how long it's been since the trauma occurred.
You could also read our ‘PSTD’ self-directed learning module (found in the first section of the Wellness Centre).
How to talk to a friend who has experienced a traumatic event
It can be hard if someone you care about is struggling after a traumatic experience. Or if they're in a long-term, traumatic situation. But there are things you can do to help. When someone experiences trauma, it's important that they know the people close to them are there to listen. You don't always need to be able to give advice or have the answers to everything. Just being a good listener is a big help.
Here are some tips:
Choose a time to talk when you won’t be interrupted, or feel rushed or tired.
Let them talk at their own pace – it's important not to pressure or rush them.
Focus on listening. Try to really focus on what they are saying, rather than thinking about how you are going to respond.
Try to put yourself in their shoes, don’t interrupt or offer examples from your own life, or talk about yourself.
Acknowledge their distress with empathic statements such as, “It’s really tough to go through something like this”.
Show that you understand by reflecting back the information they give you. Try starting with something like, “You seem really…”, “It sounds like…”, “Did I understand right that you…”, “No wonder you feel…”
Understand that talking about trauma can be painful and the person may get upset. This is a natural part of coming to terms with their experience. Don’t feel that you have to make their distress go away.
Avoid offering simple reassurances such as, “I know how you feel” or “You’ll be OK”.
Only give advice if you're asked to. They might prefer to simply hear that you believe them and are there for them.
Don’t forget to look after yourself. Hearing about trauma can be really hard, whether or not someone shares specific details. For example, you might feel upset or angry about what they've told you. Don’t be afraid to seek support for yourself. You don’t have to disclose all of someone else’s personal information but you can talk about how you are feeling.
If you need a safe space to talk anonymously, you can sign up to TalkCampus using your university or college email address here.